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Archive for January, 2011

The Craigslist Killer: A True Adonis

This has actually been bothering me since this story first broke, however, my feelings suddenly resurfaced last night when I caught the replay of the Lifetime Original movie, “The Craigslist Killer.”

But since this story first came about, the media has been telling me how “handsome” this kid was, when I can plainly see that he looks like a demented goose.  And there is absolutely no question in my mind that this is how it went down:

Media Executives: “You know what will make this story way more sensational? If we pepper our coverage of it with the word ‘handsome.’ Cause our angle here is that it was so unexpected that a kid with everything going for him would go on a killing spree. But in order to complete that narrative, we need to make him ‘handsome.’ Cause if we admit to people that he’s got a face like a dirty old catcher’s mitt, then it won’t seem like he had everything going for him. In the grand scheme of things, we can all admit that if we saw this kid eating a tuna sandwich for lunch, it would totally make us want to throw up. But people like that do NOT have ‘everything going for them.’ SO instead of letting his gangly face ruin the narrative that we want to shove down people’s throats, we better keep talking about how handsome he is until people start accepting it as the truth. Otherwise, we will sell fewer papers and capture less viewers. And we CAN’T have that!”

And so, we get this crap:

“He presented a virtual identity to society which everyone could buy into – the guy next door, tall and blond and handsome…” – 48 Hours

“…the suspect in the Craigslist murder case turns out to be a handsome 23-year-old medical student, engaged to his college sweetheart.” – Boston Globe

“To be sure, on the surface 23-year-old Philip Markoff appears to be a handsome, clean-cut young man with a bright future.” -Associated Content (Yahoo).

To quote Nell Carter, “give me a break!” On what planet would this gawky goofball be considered handsome?

Oh yes, media outlets, we all want to know! How COULD such a handsome young man with everything going for him snap and kill so many craigslist hussies? Could it have been his gangly smile and features that made him so pissed off? Or perhaps it was his horrid, side-swiping razor burn? Or, maybe he just had some unresolved, deeply-rooted issues with his dad (seen here):

In any event, this type of media whoredom (eerily examined in the 1976 Academy Award winning movie, Network), has always made me want to puke. And that is no less the case here. It’s better for the media to say that this kid was handsome and awesome because it makes for a sexier story – much sexier than the “pale, pasty, nerd loses it and kills girls who would never sleep with him unless he paid for it” approach.

But I’m not drinking that kool-aid. This dude sucked, plain and simple. His story was mildly fascinating because he did have lot going for him. He was smart, accomplished, and engaged to a sweet gal. But “handsome” was definitely not part of the Philip Markoff package.

C’mon, I mean, ew.

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